Mark's Benign Blog

27 years old

2012-02-12T14:53:00.000-08:00

I'm 27 years old. I'm spending the day by myself, again. I promised myself last year to spend it around friends and family. Last year I was running my first half marathon in Sedona, Az. I spent the day in my hotel room eating pizza and recovering my legs. The drive through Arizona was beautiful. I was happy that I was able to drive and have an adventure.

Fast forward to the present
I went to an Irish bar last night in Chicago. I drank one two many drinks and I felt like throwing up. With the room spinning I lasted until midnight. I received a small birthday cake and my friends skyping from California to sing me Happy Birthday. It was great. It felt good to relax and forget about my worries for a night. But I took a Birthday shot of Jameson. Then all I remember is a blurred story of me jumping in a taxi to the train station. Catching the last train to Great Lakes. Paying the conductor and him waking me up not to miss my stop. Also it was very cold and I had to text all the people worrying if I made it home ok. It was a long walk from the main gate to my barracks but eventually I got there. I went to sleep and recovered.

Today I'm just pondering on life. As I usually do on my Birthday.

I like that story of Wolverine.
On Wolverine's Birthday, it is said that Sabertooth, his arch nemesis, finds him wherever he is in the world and beats him to near death. If you really look at it. Sabertooth is a really good friend. He goes out of his way to find Wolverine on his birthday and give a good birthday beat down.

Road Trip End

2012-01-27T17:39:00.000-08:00

It is best to see from bottom to top.
8 Cities in 12 days and stops along the way
Las Vegas, NV
Hoover Dam
Prescott,AZ
Flew a Plane to Sedona
Phoenix,AZ
Roswell, NM
Carlsbad Caverns
Ate in San Antoni, TX
Houston, Tx
Austin, Tx
New Orleans, LA
Stopped in Panama City, Fl
Birmingham, Al
Indianapolis, IN
Chicago, IL

I wish I blogged more on the road because there are so many details to write about. I am really tired now too. I posted the pictures on Facebook. If only someone would just conform and have a profile. "Caro"

Road Trip!

2012-01-11T22:34:00.000-08:00

Hayward to Chicago in 12 days.
What's been going on? I have not blogged in quite some time. It's time I get back into it. I checked out of Naval Hospital Camp Pendleton last Friday. I wouldn't say on a good note or bad note. Let's just say it was an experience I will never trade for the world. I had to say good bye to many good friends. I met more good people in the Navy than I ever did as a civilian. It makes me look at the Navy as a good thing.
So I'm off to Las Vegas tomorrow morning.
I'm road tripping with my sister Megan. I road trip many times before by myself. After becoming a pretty seasoned traveler by myself. I found out though it easy to get around and schedule stuff it get very lonely. Having a traveling buddy gets awfully annoying too. By the end of it you want to kill each other. I figured that what ever fights my sister and I get into at the end of the day we are still blood.
I will post pictures as much as I can.
Navy Pre-Dive here I come.

So I'm working nights

2011-09-05T02:22:00.000-07:00

It's 2am Monday Labor day,
I work tonight at 6pm. To make sure I have enough sleep for work I stay up the night before. Then I sleep at 8am and try to get 8 hours of sleep. To pass the time I'm writing in this blog.
I feel reminscent of my all nighters in art school. Those countless hours I spent slaving over art that would take minutes to critique. At the worst seconds of classroom discussion then on to the next students art. The early morning hours I spent by myself with just my itunes and my dog (Marley) sleeping close by. My unhappiness growing more and more every year I stay in school. And yet I stayed there for three years. Why? I think to myself. I'm glad i stayed there as long as I did. I did learn many things at CCA. I learned things about myself I wouldn't have known if I didn't go. My work ethic definitely was better shaped because of going there. I'm more educated about art. Especially when I watch Jeopardy, Those art history questions are the easiest.
Now I'm 26 years old in 2011. I'm listening to Pandora radio. I teaching myself to juggle. The other night I was designing my tattoo. Working night shift at the ER has made me rethink going back to college. I got to have a back up plan. I'm 100% sure I don't want to go back to CCA. I also know what killed me was writing papers. I have to comfortable with English and knocking out papers. It seems that California public schools set me up for failure when I went to college in that area. Getting A's and B;s in my high school English didn't transfer well college. I was thinking of San Jose State. That way I can still practice judo and jiu jitsu. I also want to stay in San Diego to go to a Painting school I always wanted to go to. Or get out of the Navy and travel the world for awhile.

Goals:Passing Dive School/I 've got orders

2011-08-24T21:47:00.000-07:00

I have my goal to pass dive school. The task it easier said than done. I did my PST just last Friday. My numbers are more or less the same from when I usually take the test. I've been working out consistently too.
1131 swim
75 Push ups
66 Sit Ups
14 Pull Ups
1131 1.5 Mile run

I need to better than that if I want to pass dive school.
I want to gain 10-20lb of muscle before dive school.
Mainly focusing on my quads and hamstrings.
Thats all I can say I need to do. I need to look for outside help also.

1000yd fining
1000yd swimming
30 min treading with 25lb weight above water.
100 yds swimming with hands and feet bound.
go subsurface and swim 50 yds in one breath
This shit just got real

HM3 Select!

2011-06-13T20:04:00.000-07:00

So I've known for about two weeks now. I am a selectee to be promoted to Hospital Corpsman Petty Officer Third Class. I have not posted in a long time. Actually since I found out I have not picked up in November. I'll get Frocked my new rank on the 23rd of June.
Professional life is picking up. I've got my Dive package done and I'm just waiting if I'm going to leave Pediatrics. I've done everything I could have possibly have done at Peds it is time to move on. Dive school bound!
Jiu Jitsu has been suffering lately. I competed at world's but I lost my first match by Kimora. No regrets. I used to take losing personally. Now I know I should take loss in stride and just have fun at what I do. Its just a game anyway. I'm gonna take a break for June. I'm a little burnt out. I also feel like I plateaued at this point.
I should start up on this Blog again.

HM3

2010-11-22T21:17:00.000-08:00

Hospital Corpsman Petty Officer Third Class I am not. 22NOV2010 2133

Well the results for the Navy came out today for the enlisted who have been selected to rank up. I have not been selected. It was my test score and my evaluation. I pretty much got the same score I got last time so nothing really changed. My evaluation could not have been changed. As I drink my second Corona I plan my next year and how I will go about the next advancement cycle. At this point I am quite frustrated because all I did to study for the exam was I thought a lot of effort, apparently it wasn't. A lot of effort for the same score I got from the previous exam and I didn't even study for the last one. So I have to rethink my plan. (sigh) I don't know what to do now. The next test is in March. So I have 4 months until the next exam. I wish one of my corpsman roommates were home so I can get an IV. I'll do it myself.

So anyway I missed my an 18gauge in my sapheous vein in my left leg. I got a 20g in my left anticubital space. Instead occluding the vein I let it bleed to put the line in the catheter. I would need my left arm if I were to occlude the vein but I since I hooking an Intravenous line in my left arm I could not use it. My meat loaf is done I think. I'm getting drunker as I type. I'm thinking this should be last beer. As long as I have fluid in running through my arm. I wonder what kind of fluid did I put in my fucking body? LACTATED RINGERS. That's good. Apparently Lactated Ringers is good for Hangovers. So if I have it in my veins while I drink I should be good. ehh? One more beer. Ahh. Was this a just an excuse to get drunk? Well I had extra coronas just siting in my fridge. I kind of feel like getting HM3 is like getting my blue belt. I really want it! To a point I think I'm over due. But I heard before that I need to feel like a blue belt before I can put it on. Maybe that's the same with ranking up to HM3. I need to be confident in everything I do as a E-3 Hospital Corpsman in the United States Navy. I'm still fucking mad though. hahajaja.It's true though. I look up to petty officers. I've always admired how long they've been in and what kind of knowledge that they can past down. Usually they have really good advice to pass on to junior enlisted like myself. I need to be in it for a little longer to know what's it like to be a petty officer in the US Navy. Maybe even go through a deployment.

So this is my blog in a nutshell. I didn't pick up my next rank and I got drunk. I put an IV in my arm. I made my lunch and breakfast.

Just working

2010-11-01T22:35:00.000-07:00

I just woke up an hour ago. It's 10:49PM on a Monday night. I was exhausted from the day. Last night I went to bed at 1 AM. I couldn't sleep. Then I woke up at 0500 this morning to get ready to help out with the PRT ( Physical Readiness Test). Its a Navy Physical assessment that entails of 2 minutes of push ups and sit ups and 1.5 mile run and half. From officer to enlisted everyone in the Navy must do a PRT twice a year if no medical problems come up for the military member. I arrived at the hospital gym at 0600 and I watched sailors do push ups, sit ups and run 1.5 miles. It was cold this morning too.
I went to work. I spent all day on the computer completing training programs. It was not fun. All day in front of a computer makes me hate my job. I take a break we go to the warehouse and move some stuff. Its fun to do some moving after not doing anything at all.
I stay for an extra half hour after work. I finish up some computer stuff. Then I go home. I eat some food while watching 30 Rock and Netflix. I crash out for 4 hours.

When I woke up I felt good. Just to sleep in my own bed in my own room. I decided to cook baked tofu and blog. I love having to have this freedom of doing what I want. I couldn't do this in the barracks. If I woke up at 10pm my other roommates would be asleep and I would have to debate if it was better for me to go back to sleep or get food.

My life right now is good, but there are days when I just need to get away. Going home would be nice but it's not home any more. I'm trying to save my leave up so I can take a big trip to some where exciting. I also ponder about life. Do I stay in or get out? As far as I know it's a good thing I joined the Navy. This 5 year commitment is giving ample time to think about life.

Blue Belt and home.

2010-09-06T20:09:00.000-07:00

I went home Mid August. I went to Outside Lands, which is a music festival in Golden Gate Park. It was fun to hang out with my friends and go to shows again. I love making new memories with old friends.

The Strokes

My friend Juan, Fernando and I at a gas station after the show.

I got my blue belt after a long path physically, mentally, and finnancially I ranked up.

I now know that I must endure so I can get what I want out of life.

I took 1st place in Long Beach.

2010-08-07T00:29:00.001-07:00

I took 1st place at a tournament in Long Beach last Saturday. The hype of it has worn off. I kind of was expecting to get my blue belt. I doubt that it will happen in August. I wanted to get my blue so I can take a my work load off jiu jitsu for a while. I have an advancement test in September I really want to rank up too. I piece of me wants to be good so bad at jiu jitsu. I know what my priorities should be. I should study hard so I can ace the exam and put on rank.
Also I got my evaluation today. I got a must promote. Which is an average score for an eval. The best is Early Promote. The worst is promotable. It was nothing too special. The recommendation they put on it my eval was Special Warfare or C School. I was a bit excited to see Special Warfare. Recommendations are orders I should get because of my performance. C schools are tech schools for corpsman. X- ray technician, Physical therapist, Psych tech are C- schools. Some people might want officer programs. Well seeing Special Warfare was a good wake up call of why I joined the Navy in the first place. To test myself and push my abilities to their maximum potential. Special Warfare is the only place I feel that can be something I would enjoy.
I'm also going on leave to the Bay Area next week! I need a break from the hospital.

LIfe is confusing.

2010-07-22T22:26:00.000-07:00

So I had one of those what do I do with my life moments today? It tends to make me angry and confused. Thank goodness its Friday tomorrow. So many things in the world. I have nothing else to say.

Outliers and Life.

2010-07-14T21:57:00.000-07:00

So I was listening to a podcast on Lloyd Irvin, an American Jiu Jitsu teacher, the other day. It was pretty inspiring. He received his Black belt in like 3 years. That's pretty fast. He brags (markets himself) pretty openly too. So at first I think he's not real. but he has a team that is really good on the competition scene. So he's got to be doing something right. He hooks me in as I listen.
Well anyway while I was listening he mentions a book. Since I was getting convinced that Lloyd was on to something I google the book as soon as I heard it. I paused the podcast. I start watching YouTube clips of Malcolm Gladwell. I'm hooked. Soon after I though about buying the book. I was too lazy. I went on itunes and bought the audio book. I know, I know. Listening is something I enjoy very much. My favorite podcast is Radiolab. I go to sleep to it.
Back to Outliers, It explains what makes exceptional people in history. There's certain factors that make a person rise above the average common man. Some of those factors were the time that person was born, the social status their family was in, opportunity and other people to help them along the way. Also he proposed the 10,000 hour rule. To be truly great at a specific craft you need to put roughly 4 hours a day of practice for 10 years. Then you will be pretty good. I know some people know this already but to actually hear it and to here all his references Bill Gates, Steve Jobs, hockey players, musicians, Olympians, basketball players, intellectuals, etc. These people definitely had talent in there field but he shows that they got to where to are with thousands of hours of practice. I'm not finished with it yet.
I have about 3 hours to go. It's a good listen when I drive to work. Since I speak of work. I'll give you a quick update. It's pretty much the same. I write about this book because it truly makes me look inward at myself. What I'm I getting good at? Where will I be in ten years as far as skill? What skills will I be good at? What do I do 4 hours a day everyday? hmmm...
I obviously grapple so I will be pretty proficient in that by the time I am 35. I am in Navy and I work in hospital. Do I really practice health care for 8 hours a day? Kind of. Not the health care I wanted to do. How will I get to a place where my medical skills can get better? What else can I spend my time on that will make me happy when I get good?
I think about my art friends from college. By the time 2015 comes around some of them are going to be really proficient at their craft. hmm..
It made me think.

Some pictures of my life now.

My new room.

My work.

Not hard at work! j/k I really do work.

Another Camera!

2010-06-20T18:52:00.000-07:00

I haven't posted in a month. Well I had Lasik paid for by the Navy. So far living a life without glasses have been pretty good. I'm still sensitive to light during mid-day. I used to just deal with it. But now I bright sunlight is the really annoying to me. Other than not having to wear glasses I'm pretty much the same guy from before.
I feel work is still work. Though just this past Friday. There was the Hospital Corpsman Birthday Ball. I didn't feel like going but my Chief convinced me pretty easily. "Just go and have a good time. You wear a uniform and get free food that's what you do everyday. And it's free" I didn't have an excuse not to go either. I had fun. I won a digicam. I sat with Rivera and his wife, Sager, and Stroud with his Fiance. I was worried about having a date. But again my Chief said you don't need a date. I just got drunk and danced with my coworkers. My supervisor won a digital video camera, another friend won a 32" plasma, and my friend Layton won a $100 dollar gift certificate. I'm definitely going next year if I'm not on leave.

My path to blue belt is on its final step! I was given my fourth stripe on my white belt. I really want to earn this blue belt. I need to take a tournament. Gold medal with all taps. I need to to drop my weight. I can't hang around 165lb for too much longer.

43 things but really 12

2010-05-16T15:41:00.000-07:00

I complete one of the things on my 43 things. I've only got 11 now. I think I'm supposed to have 43 things. The website is like a goals website, but its like a collective goal website. You see if other people have the same goal and you compare what you've written completing them. I found the more specific you make it. Not many people have those same goals. But if you make it more general like "learn to surf" more people would relate.
Anyway I completed running the Navy Coronado bridge run. I would share photographs but I lost my digicam at the end of the race. It Sucks to be me. Overall I got some free swag. I felt good accomplishing something I wasn't that motivated to do but I said I was gonna do a long time ago.
I competed in a Tournament on Saturday. Lost.
Lost my camera, I lost my match.
I had to try not to call myself a loser at the end of the day.

Plus side
I'm getting Lasik tomorrow. On the Navy's dime. Hoorah.
Going home for a week. So I feel pretty good.

After my lost on Saturday I had my post loss pizza and beer. But I had to run the next morning so I had my room mate give me an IV.

The things corpsmen do when left to themselves.

Deploy ME!!!Please!!!

2010-05-01T23:50:00.000-07:00

I should be careful what I wish for I just might get it.
I have a cold. I'm alone in my room on this normal Saturday night. Quite often though there's times like these I want to just go. It doesn't matter where. Just go. I feel like going home because all I do here is what I could have been doing as a civilian except I would be at home with all my friends and family. I need to go to sleep. All I think about now is getting out of here. Right now guess the only thing that I can do is prepare, be mission ready, ready for doing hikes in the middle east, have my medical skills sharp.
I'm thinking if I should get a second job that relates to my job as a corpsman, like an EMT or something.

free jamba juice ends today! with coupon

2010-04-25T16:22:00.000-07:00

Saturday
I started writing again. More like typing. I was watching a Hunter S. Thompson documentary. I was inspired to start writing again. So I went to West Covina in LA county to go some Saturday Judo. I wasn't welcomed very well, I felt awkward more than once.I think it was awkward because there was a mixed group of kids there. Also female and male judo players. I've gotten used facing 20 something males. Olympian Ronda Rousey was there too. She fell asleep soon after practice started. Overall I enjoyed my training there. I got to work on some techniques I didn't know about before. I would keep going there on the weekends but I hate driving in LA. I'm starting to dread my drive back to the Bay Area, whenever that will be. So I decided I should probably find a hobby that encourages more of a social life. It seems my life is stuck in a uneventful routine. Urgh. I joined the Navy to get into adventures. I've been at the hospital for a month. I'm going crazy.
I did my laundry in West Covina too. I listened to an old Podcast NPR all songs considered. I really like it. I listened to the break up song podcast. It was also very depressing at the end. It broadened my musical horizon. I found Bettye Swann, Soul singer from the 60's.
Another fantastic Sunday. I did a break in watch for Duty Driver. Not much else. I got off at 1500. Just chilling out right now. it's now 1645 I don't know what to do now.

I've got the case of the Sundays

2010-04-18T16:09:00.000-07:00

You know how people have the case of the Mondays. I think I have that mindset with Sundays. I just have to keep busy. It sucks though.
I went to the Gun Range in town to do something interesting. First time I shot a pistol since boot camp. I shot a M4 rifle in Field Med. I always wanted to a 45 glock. I did. I shot like 50 rounds. It was meditative. Next time I'll shoot a 9mm Beretta. Thats a required weapon for the medical personnel in combat. So I might as well become very proficient with it. It's also pretty expensive if you don't have a weapon.
So I'm training for a Tournament on May 15th. I may not be going to Recon training but I can train for this tournament. My goal is pretty low. I'm following Felipe Costa's advice to start my goals small. My goal is to win my first match. Nothing else. Leave nothing left. Fight for it.
Man I hate lifting weights. I'm sticking with Cross fit. This hospital duty is gonna get me fat if I don't really crank up my PT.

Life news

2010-04-04T19:32:00.000-07:00

20100404 Easter Sunday.
I drank beer and I ate meat.
I now am a member of Naval Hospital Camp Pendleton. I will work in the Pediatrics Department. I was supposed to go Edson Range but orders changed and the needs of the Navy must be met. (Sigh) It's alright I adapt very well. For the next two years I will be here.
I think about how comfortable it will be here. I know what kind of place it is. It is a comfortable place for the married folk. This place is too comfortable for my taste. I joined the Navy to be deployed. I feel like I might as well settle down with this relaxed duty station. (sigh)
I just gotta keep my goals in sight.
I'm a lil down possibly because today is a Sunday.
I'm reading Lone Survivor by Marcus Luttrell.
This Navy SEAL who was the only survivor out of his team of 4. It's pretty motivating.

20100319 Another Training Command Almost Done

2010-03-19T18:04:00.000-07:00

So I completed just about everything I need to complete with this school. I wanted to come here. I came in with some negative opinions from past students so I took it as a grain of salt. Graduation is next Thursday. My parents are coming down from the Bay for it. I appreciate more of my life because of this school. Spring hit California last week. I had a lot of time in the sun. I haven't gotten this dark since I was a kid. It feels good. It makes me feel alive.
I also went to another Recon screening while I was here. I could have done better. Overall, these Recon Screenings make me feel good about myself. I feel good that I challenged myself. The screeners treat me like a person. Not a piece trash, not yet anyway. It was also a wake up call. The HM1 that conducted the screening told me specifically" I don't want you to waste your Navy career there." Referring to my Permanent Duty Station Edson Range MCRD. I can spend my entire enlistment in one place. Just the thought of that is comfortable for some but for me it disturbs me.
I had a thought that I might have gotten new orders for BRC if I did well in the screening. I didn't get new orders so my plan still continues as scheduled. I have 9 months to get in better shape for BRC. Get everything I need to figure out by then.
I took the E-4 Advancement Exam on Thursday. I didn't feel like I will get advanced, but if I do I will be quite surprised. I have until October to study for the next one.
Overall mood I feel pretty good.

2010-03-07T11:54:00.000-08:00

I spent 4 days in the field this week. We did a couple of hikes and several other evolutions.. A bunch of other military customs and courtesies. My decision to enter the military has been tested here.
I think about what would have i done a year ago if I didn't join the military. I don't really know. I probably will be in the same type of stagnant situation. I just have to bite it and deal with it. There's no going back now the stuff I'm learning will stay with me. I was ready to jump down the rabbit hole when I walked in the recruiters office. My goal to be a greenside corpsman is materializing. I wasn't until fmtb that my decision was shakened. The Corpsman rate is the most decorated rate in the Navy. I have big boots to fill.
After our 8 mile hike, the chaplain gave us a speech. It was inspiring. "When you are at your most tired that is when you have to keep going to treat that wounded marine or sailor" it brought a tear to my eye. This is as real as it can get. The rest of the navy besides spec ops and seabees have no idea what we go through.
I don't know how the next 4 years will go but this year alone has taught me a lot about myself. Mainly the togetherness of the enlisted man, the fight that is inside of me,

my search just continues.

20100221 Losing

2010-02-21T11:44:00.000-08:00

The entire week I was looking forward to the Recon PST and my Jiu Jitsu Tourney.
Recon Screening canceled and Rescheduled for March 12th.
Jiu Jitsu Tournament in Westminster. Lost. 0-14

Overall
Short week but I did a lot.
Dress Blues Inspection.
I look so awesome in that uniform. I Love it. So Simple
I'm post it on my as my profile picture.
Went on the Range for two days.
I shot over 200 rounds on my M4.
Those days went by quick.
It felt like a field trip in elementary school. where they gave us box lunches. and we were trading juice boxes for milks or doritos for fritos. I though we would get MRE's(Meal Ready to Eat)? I guess thats where the money went to buy us more rounds.

Friday hits off and I as mad that they let us out late again.(sigh)
I eat light don't drink any water. swim. don't drink any water. half an apple.sleep
Saturday.wake up. drive to Orange County.
161. Work out for an hour.
157. Don't eat still.
weighed in for my Tournament. 148- 160 lb at 930am
Made weight.
a whole lot of waiting. I compete. I lose. one match. 0-14
In a sense I'm so used to losing in competition it doesn't bother me as much any more. it still gets me down though.
It's just a game anyway.
I look at life a bit differently because of things like this.
I saw where I need to improve. What I should try differently.
I'm gonna go harder in class.
I did enjoy my time there. I saw Brent and Jason, some friend from my old jiu jitsu gym in the Bay Area. It felt good to see them. In a place away, Southern California, from family and friends. It was a good feeling.

"I have missed more than 9000 shots in my career. I have lost almost 300 games. On 26 occassions I have been entrusted to take the game winning shot . . . and missed. And I have failed over and over and over again in my life. And that is why . . . I succeed."
-Michael Jordan

Also Waltz with Bashir is an awesome movie.

20100214 St. Valentine's day is just another day

2010-02-14T16:15:00.000-08:00

Fmtb week 3
We got our M4 rifle this week. I also got to wear my green cammies. We did some casualty assessment stuff. It went by fast.
By the end of the week I was exhausted. More mentally than physically. To top it off it was my birthday on Friday. The big 25. I told like one or two other people. It was a day where I wasn't haven't it. I didn't care if I get yelled at. I had the worst attitude. I laugh about it now. It was bottom for me. I don't know how to describe the feeling. It was like I got caught for sleeping a couple times. When I was corrected. I did what they asked. But I didn't care what they said to me.
We did a couple of obstacle courses. It was fun. In fact it woke me up. I rolled my ankle on one of the runs. I pushed through it. When we got back to class. I just wanted to leave. A few of my shipmates invited me to dinner. That was nice of them. I would have tried to go to a hip hop concert by myself. Dead Prez and MURS. We ate at in and out. It was nice to be around people. If I didn't have people around me I think I would have been more depressed. I thought about that birthday when I was working at Disneyland. I was so disgruntled that day, snapping at customers and such, haha. I will look back at this birthday and say I spent it at FMTB, climbing ropes and maneuvering obstacles. I thought that statement today. "I spent my 25th birthday at FMTB in Camp Pendleton." When I think about it I will more than likely spend my 26th birthday in Afghanistan. Fun...
I'm doing my weekly blog. Pondering about life. I like how I pretty much went back to my old life. The only exception is friends, family and video games. I still do Jiu Jitsu/grappling, spend time alone, read, listen to music. I'm basically the same person with the same thoughts and goals except I'm in the Navy.
I did a Mock PST today.
11:30 500 meter swim
95 push ups
85 sit ups
22 pull ups
10:00 min 1.5 mile
I have a Recon PST on Wednesday.
I also have a BJJ tournament in Orange County next Saturday. I have to cut 7 pounds.
This week should go by fast.

I texted my friend ,whose competing in a San jose Judo Tournament, luck today.
He texted back,"Luck is where opportunity and preparedness meet. I am prepared and I have a good opportunity. So I should be lucky."

I will say that to myself on Wednesday and on Saturday.

20100207 Super Bowl Sunday

2010-02-07T17:53:00.000-08:00

I don't really care about football. I'm mean I'll watch it, But I have to nothing to watch to watch football. It just never interested me. I guess the commercials would be worth watching but then again I could watch that online.
I did a 2 a day today.

2 Cycles of Barbara.
20 pull ups attempts
30 push ups
40 sit ups
50 squats.
ran in boot for 30 min

later in the day

ran 2 miles
swam 1 mile in fins
ran 2 miles

In Barnes, just freeloading off their free wifi. I got a caramel macchiato though. Pandora is awesome by the way.

Fmtb Week 2 finished
nothing too hard.
a few PT sessions. M4 Familiarization. IV lab. I got it on my first stick!! I want to practice more though. I got my recon brief on wednesday. I have a screening in like a week. I will train for it and do my best.
I turn 25 on Friday I don't know what to think.
I hope everybody is doing good.
I wish more of my friends had blogs.

20100129 FMTB Week One

2010-01-29T19:07:00.001-08:00

Howard Zinn Died a couple of days ago.
J.D. Salinger Died also the same day.
Celebrities I hear die in three.

I never read Howard Zinn's A History of the United States but I watched his documentary. I'm buying it on iTunes because I want to watch it again. His life was amazing. He accomplished so much. It was almost like Forrest Gump where he was apart most events that included America. His life motivates my life.

J.D. Salinger wrote the Catcher In The Rye.
Its an awesome book. I read that book in high school. I read a few times after that. It was an excellent book for high school. For people who really understood it changed them. There was a saying I heard somewhere "we are the sum of all are experiences" Reading this book was one of those experiences that made me who I am. Especially for the time when I read it.

FMTB Week 1

Indoctrination. Monday
Gear Issue Tuesday
Uniform Issue/PFA Wednesday
Didn't push myself.
Sit ups
72
Push Ups
77
1.5 Mi
10:34
Class/ Admin Stuff Thursday
Urinalysis/Class Friday

Marching everywhere. Learning, Relearning Drill.
I enjoy what I'm learning here. I don't enjoy going through boot camp again. I understand that It is necessary though.

My thoughts on January.
PSI at Edson Range. Awesome. Excited to go back.
Jiu Jitsu is going good.
I got a few goals for February.
Train 4 times a week
Study Advancement twice a week
BRC goals
25 pull ups
100 Sit ups in 2 min
1.5. mi sub 10:00
Tread Water 10 min.

I turn 25 this year. A 1/4 of century.

20100122 FMTB Starts

2010-01-22T19:15:00.000-08:00

I checked in Thursday.
A lot of waiting around. Its what I was told I would do from Corpsman thats been through it. It feels like a boot camp. I feel like I'm equipped with the patience to get through it better. I'm pretty resilient about these things. I just have to make sure I'm not resentful about it. I thought picking up and moving every once in a while would be cool. I realized I have a few things that I enjoyed that I kind of miss. I definitely don't neglect those things. Nomad lifestyle is hard to get a hold of.
So far I've been taking it easy. I'm gonna get a tiny sketch book to put in my side pocket and I will document it. It's about the only thing I can do.
There is no place to dry my jiu Jitsu Gis properly. I don't know how that will go. I will adapt.
I hope all is well with everyone. I will try to take more pictures.

I was looking for Marathons to run. There's a few exciting ones in southern California. Competing and Training.

20100116 Adjusting to Oceanside...

2010-01-16T17:34:00.000-08:00

I have been back from leave for about two weeks now. I made a pack to myself to look for new friends in Socal. Why? I essentially don't have any friends in Southern California. It really makes it feel like another place. Different from Chicago, Ohio, and New Orleans. I'm not sure what it is but I'll find my niche. I had a chance to go back last weekend and this weekend. It is nice to live so close to the Bay Area, but at the same time its not that close where I can just go home every weekend. In a way it feels like my first year in college. Where I didn't have any friends and I hated art school students. I also hated Rockridge.
I decided to just adjust as best as possible. I'm super dedicated to my Jiu Jitsu. I go at least 3 times a week. I hoping to compete a lot this year. Oceanside Jiu Jitsu is pretty new with not many students. I'm gonna stick with it. I'll just have to recruit other service members. Pan Ams is during the last half of FMTB.

I start FMTB (Field Medical Training Battalion) next Friday. I feel apathetic about it now. I used to be excited about it until I heard what other Corpsman say about it. I heard talk where its just a bunch head games. Also I'm already at my duty station doing my job so there's no surprise at the end of FMTB. There's nothing I can do about it. I just have to make the best out it. If I can just keep going to Jiu Jitsu everything will be okay. It's funny how that component is a must in my life. I can live without it, but it's probably better for people around me if I have an aggression outlet.

So what do I do since I don't have friends. I go to Jiu Jitsu as much as possible. I enjoy Pandora and new music in general. I found the base Hobby shop with a wood shop and a clay studio. I've been throwing clay on the wheel. I'm awful at it, but its meditative to spend three hours just listening to music and playing with clay. I'm trying to PT 6 days out of the week. It worked last week but I got sick this week.

(mute sound and put fast pace song. I usually go a lot slower)

My path for recon. I still hope to go in 2011. I've grown attached to my clinic and Edson Range. I really don't want to just pick up and move after 6 months. I want to give Southern California a chance. So I'll give it a year. I can get my swim and PT up. I will learn my job better too.
I went to sick call for the first time since I've been in the Navy on Friday. I had this sore throat I couldn't get rid of for a week. Got some meds. My throat feels 60% better.

Field Medical Training Battalion: New Corpsman have a Naval Enlistment Classification (NEC) of 0000. Corpsman Basic. Corpsman have a green side ,Corpsman who work with Marines, and blue side ,Corpsman who work with the rest of the Navy. After completion of FMTB I will given the NEC 8404. FMTB is where I will get all my Marine Corps Cammies. I will get some Marine Corps training but not nearly as bad as real Marine boot camp. Also more combat medical training hence the name.
There's Mechanized Museum on base.

The hatch was open and no one was around.

20100104 New Year

2010-01-04T12:02:00.000-08:00

I didn't have any resolutions for 2009. I did want to paint more. I was trying to get to 1000 paintings. That fell through, but looking back on it I have a lot of paintings on my wall. I still have an awesome studio.

A Retrospect on 2009
Worked at Fedex _ AM Package Handler
I became an EMT
Quit Fedex
Drove a BLS ambulance
Decided that wasn't quite for me
Joined the Navy
Enjoyed Life until Boot Camp
Boot Camp
More Mentally Challenging than Physically.
Graduated Boot
Went to Hospital Corps School
Met some new friends. Found some old friends.
I learned that I can accomplish anything that I want to.
ANYTHING! I just have to work hard for it.
Accomplishing something you thought was impossible to you was
a feeling unparalleled to any thing I have ever wanted in life. (Recon/SEAL PST)
Graduated Corps School
Became A Navy Hospital Corpsman
The job of what that title holds still gets me excited
Stationed in Camp Pendleton- Edson Range MCRD

2010
I'm gonna hold off on BRC
I want to learn my job
I want to get stronger for BRC
Get HM3 (Promotion)
I can continue my hobby/obsession with judo/jiu jitsu
I will get my blue belt this year
Go to BRC in 2011
I also want to keep more of a Visual Journal. Than boring written one.
Go life Drawing at least twice a month.

I told Carolina I want to make a Graphic Novel of my time in the Navy.
So I should get on that this year.

20090612 Camp Pendleton PSI

2009-12-06T22:19:00.000-08:00

News.
I'm currently in Camp Pendleton. I've been here for the last 3 weeks. I'm just about settled in. There are a few bumps in my stay here, but nothing I can not handle. To alleviate that stress I had to look for a jiu jitsu gym. I found one so all is good in the world. I PT about 3-5 times a week. Maybe 3 times a week on my own and 3 more times as a group. I have my car so I got to see a lot of southern California mostly San Diego.
I the only thing now that is on my mind
. Studying for the advancement exam in March.
. Leave for the Holidays.
. Finding a Pool

Nothing really bothers me all that much.
I like it simple like this.
I've got a bunch of other goals. So much to do.
I want to start drawing again. I should start.
It is beautiful here.
Also for some reason I miss the midwest.

20090111 1632 Almost over to begin.

2009-11-01T14:30:00.000-08:00

Life
I completed Labs on Thursday. I have Clinicals the next two weeks. I learn where I'll be tomorrow. I hope the ER or OR. Almost done. I will be in California before I know it. I have no idea what to expect over in Camp Pendleton. I will just to do my job as best as I can. I was watching Generation Kill. I'm starting to realize what I signed up for. I really enjoy the corpsman in that show. It makes me pumped to be good at my job.
I got a week off of EPO duty when my class completed Test 12. I swam everyday! It made me so happy to swim. I love swimming. It continues to challenge every time I'm in the pool.

2009 is almost done. 2010 will be a tough year.
I can make more solid goals now because I have a steady job.

20090920 It Has Begun

2009-09-20T08:44:00.000-07:00

on 20090918 I passed the Dive Mo PST
12:12 CCS 500 yd swim
70 push ups in 2 min
65 situps in 2 min
10 pull ups
11 min run in boots and camo pants.

I swam Sat,Mon,Tue,Wed,and Thursday to knock 30 seconds off my time. 40 days ago I couldn't swim a lap without stopping and I didn't know Combat Side Stroke. It's crazy to think how far I've come when it comes to swimming.
I celebrated with a few shipamates that didn't have duty this weekend. 1st drink in about 2 years. Guinness, blue moon, splitz?, PBR, and I couldn't finish the fatire. I didn't want to throw up. It was good times.
A friend of mine wrote to me and said to occasionally look at your accomplishments or else you won't appreciate what you have. I don't remember the exact saying. She in fact quoted someone else.
Well now I have to keep screening every few weeks and when I graduate a get a letter a recommendation (PAGE 13) to try out at FMTB Pendelton.

Now I have to get my PST Time down and get my grades higher.

11 Sep 2009 2000

2009-09-11T17:55:00.000-07:00

How's my life.
I got an 80% on Test 5. Unacceptable for an EPO.
I will shoot for the moon in Test 6.
I took the Dive Mo PST AGAIN!
12:45 Swim I rocked the Combat Side Stroke the entire way.
67 Push Ups
71 Sit Ups
10 Pull Ups
10:59 1.5 Mile In Boot and Camies

I'm wallowing in my failure.
The instructors running the screening kept giving me props though.
I'm gaining their respect.
Failure still hurts.
If I drank I would be drinking my failure away.
I took a shower. "unclean unclean" like the Simpsons.
A good portion of my class went the first time.
I was the only one who came back the 2nd time.
I'm pretty proud to walk alone on this path.
I wanted Recon before I went to Boot Camp.
It's so close. It hurts.

when I succeed I bet the feeling will be unparalleled.
I can only imagine and continue to work harder.

Caro, I bet you could dominate this PST with you workout ethic.

How's life outside of me?
Crazy September 11th. 8 years since the twin towers were hit.

HM3 Layton was killed a couple of days ago in Afghanistan.
My EPO Coordinator said it was his former student.
He graduated last June.
HM3 Layton was from Modesto. He was 22.
It is just crazy to think about the life corpsman will go into.

20090814

2009-08-14T17:49:00.000-07:00

Just getting the hang of things right now.
So far so good.
School started. Test 1 93% Not bad. Not good.
Must study harder.
I taught myself combat side stroke with youtube.
AHH youtube.

I wonder what if youtube could really change the world with information?
Just a side thought.

I've got 14 weeks here at Great Lakes. Then maybe North Carolina.
A school feels like my freshman year of college except I like my classmates.
I've been spending my free time swimming. I suck at swimming.
I figure if I want it bad enough. I'll get recon.
and I do want it bad enough.

Essentially my life has come back to normal with a few minor changes.
Such as
unlimited access to the internet because I refuse to buy wireless wifi for my laptop
I miss my friends its okay though I know they will be there when I get back
being on locked down i.e. phase I liberty

Corps school is good. I'm happy I'm here. I waited like 4 months to get here. 2 months in DEP and 2 long months in Boot. There are some cons to being here like NOT GRAPPLING. anyway I can concentrate training for the recon pst.

Thats it
Telling my piece for an uneventful Friday evening

200907024 Navy Boot Camp Over!!

2009-07-24T19:19:00.000-07:00

A funny memory. You say. More like something I'd never want to repeat. I met a few friends. But they will soon be forgotten or not. It is a small world. But hey it's over. Time for Corps school. Which seems like a college with restrictions. Urgh!! I haven't grappled in more than two months. I feel like fighting someone.
That's the worst part about boot. I wanted to fight all the time or every time I was frustrated with my division which is very often. Laughs were few and far between. I guess I took it more serious than others because I was part of Division staff. I did need a balance of work and play, but I know that my division played a lot more when we needed to work.
Well its over. I just hope life will be better now and I will be around motivated individuals. please...

Rocking the Birth Control Glasses.

The ladies in my life.

20090523 I hiked Mt. Diablo

2009-05-23T20:54:00.001-07:00

I hiked Mt. Diablo with my younger sister, Megan, and my two cousins Moses and Jonas.
Mt. Diablo was over 3800 ft high. I can't believe we did that. We started at like 1000 and got there about 1300. Jeez. When we got there. Most of the tourists drove up. WEAK. Who cares about them anyway. My shirt was soaked with sweat by the time I got up there. After some rest it dried up from being in the sun. Amazing. It was overcast in the bay area today but we managed to hike above the clouds. It was awesome. My cousin, Jonas, whose asthmatic was having a hard time at first, but felt better as we got up there. He said jokingly if I could do this I could do Everest!
6 mile hike up to 3800 feet took about 3 hours. 6 mile hike down took about 2 hours.
We went to Rockridge and destroyed a Zachary's Deep Dish Pizza.

I got home and I got some tapes in the mail. Awesomely funny.

20090519 2215 I need to get on my list.

2009-05-19T22:15:00.000-07:00

So I leave in a week. I need to get on my list. I'm so excited, anxious and scared. I also need to see a few people before I leave. I don't have many friends. I do have a few important ones though.

I took this from Military.com under Navy SEAL fitness Test

One of the best workouts to assist increasing your scores in the PT and run is the following:

- 100 pull-ups in as few sets as possible Run 1/4 mile in 90 seconds in between sets of pull-ups

- 200 pushups in as few sets as possible Run 1/4 mile in 90 seconds in between sets of push-ups

- 300 sit-ups in as few sets as possible Run 1/4 mile in 90 seconds in between sets of sit-ups

This is a tough workout that can take 30-60 minutes to complete - if you can complete it.

I couldn't do it all. Saturday I did Pull ups and Push ups with 1/4 miles. Today I did Sit ups and Push ups with 1/4 miles. I think I only ran 2 min 1/4 miles too.

I really got to memorize these 11 sentry orders. I'm using flash cards now. The sooner these 9 weeks go the sooner I can learn some kick ass medicine.

6 days left. man.
Scary

20090513 0915 To Vote or Not to Vote

2009-05-13T09:15:00.000-07:00

Well my company will be having an election today. Whether or not to have a union representing us against our employer. My work has a lot of problems as far as scheduling and some other things. I accept that as a grunt EMT. I usually have these grunt low level McJobs. This is the easiest job I ever had. At the same time there are times when I don't have a chance to eat. I have been getting paid well for the amount of real work I do. It is a give and take with this job. I sit around for most of my shift. I don't have to stand up the whole time I'm working. I don't have much stake in this company. I leave in 13 days.

Anyway.

Last night at 2400

200 push ups 5:30
300 Sit Ups 20 min
100 Pull Ups Pyramid 10

20 laps 10/10 Side/Breast Stroke

Caro, Here's my momma watching the Paquiao fight like I said

20090511 0201 I need to get on a normal sleeping schedule.

2009-05-11T02:01:00.000-07:00

I swam for 30 laps?

20 breast stroke.
6 side stroke.
4 semi crawl.
My technique needs to be looked at. I need to get a coach.

I was in the pool. Coming to the realization that I will need be the swimmer I want to be in a month. Even If I swim everyday. It will be something I have to continue to work at. Like anything else in life. This is just the beginning. If I swim 4x a week for a year I should be white belt two strip status on swimming or even if I am teaching myself.

15 days left
man oh man

My partner the other day showed me this clip on Sternal IO (Intra Osseous) Military Medicine. It got me hyped.

ten 18 gauge needles
surrounded by one 14 gauge
65 pounds of pressure to penetrate sternal bone.
Awesomeness. The cutting edge of emergency medicine.
Most efficient way to provide IV fluid and medication.
I hope to never get poked but then again it will probably save my life.

20090508 0138 My OJ Expires today!

2009-05-08T01:38:00.000-07:00

oh man did I work out today.

PT

100 push ups in 2 min
85? sit ups .
50 dips
10 pull ups people hogging the bar made me stop early
2.5mi- 30 min run
I hate treadmills

I went to my first DEP meeting.
Nothing special. More awkward than family like.
I realized I don't know as much as I should know.
I have to study this PQS booklet and take a test on it.
It helps DEP recruits to get promoted.
I'm already an E-3. I still have to study it. (sigh)
We did some PT. a little disappointing.
I dropped this 18 y/o Dep recruit off.
He lives a few houses from my sister's house.
I ate. I picked up my cousin.
I went to Jiu Jitsu!! Thats right I went back!
Man it feels great to grapple again. I got a few taps.
I bit unfair since most of the Hayward guys are new.
They are all heavier than me though.

So I told my recruiter I wanted to try the Spec Ops test.
I got some advice to actually do it. So I tried it.

Swim 500 yds under 12:30 using Combat Swimmer Stroke,
Side Stroke, Or Breast Stroke
18:11 Side Stroke

Push Ups Minimum 42 in 2 min
80

Sit ups Minimum 52 in 2min
65
Pull ups Minimum 8 no time limit
10

Run 1.5 miles under 11:30
I crapped out here. I was running on and off the treadmill. Speed was 8 mph
If it was a track I think I would do better. Man I hate the treadmill.

There was something I wanted to say.
Hmm... I'm gonna eat a banana while I think.
chomp chomp
I think this is it.

If there was one thing I learned from Jiu Jitsu.
Pull Guard.
Very Abstract. I know.
Let me Explain.
Actually It's very difficult to explain.
To put it in an easier way.

Always choose the hard way to do something.
For example. If you a task and there's two ways to do it.
Choose the more difficult time consuming one.
As long as your honing a certain skill
and if being not efficient is okay.
Why?
All the hard work will come back.
I wish I could explain more.
It is more like an idea/sketch.
Sort of like Karma.
This idea was so abstract.
I doubt anyone understood it.
but I get it.
I will understand it when I look back on this post years from now.

Ps I must drink all my OJ before it expires.

20090505 2339

2009-05-05T23:38:00.000-07:00

21 days left. Crazy!!
I just want to take off. I'm so excited for Corps school. It's like I'm gonna go to Hybrid Medic/Nursing/ Doctor School. Oh man. But anticipating it sucks.
The only thing I can do is wait and be prepared.
Last night I did

200 push ups
300 sit ups
Pyramid 7 pull ups I guess thats 49

I ran my 1.5 miles my time was bad like 12:30
Funny because when I ran on the track like two weeks ago I swear I was below 10

I swam 20 laps. Breast and Side stroke. 10 each. As fast as I could. Also a bad time like below 20.
I'm gonna do the Spec Ops PST next week.

Oh man oh man.
Well since I don't have anything to do except play video games, work, and train for PT.

I'm gonna eat then swim.

20090428 0253

2009-04-28T02:53:00.000-07:00

I want to swim 5x this week. well its on my list.

4x30 push ups
4x30 sit ups
15 pull ups

60 laps breast stroke
1500 meters

I went to see Mos Def, Supernatural, Dead Prez, Guapele and Dave Chappelle again last night. It was the best show I've seen in years. Awesome!!

I started drawing in my journal again. It feels good.

20090424 0152

2009-04-24T01:51:00.000-07:00

So I just deleted my Grappling Blog. If anybody knew I had a grappling blog. I had one. Since I hadn't grappled in awhile I decided to delete it. If I have grappling posts to put I will just put it in here.

36 days left.
Crazy!!!
Jillian if you're reading this you also have 36 days left.

Well I went to work. Its hard to stay motivated in a job where most of my partners aren't. Blogging helps though. Let's see...
I had 3 patients.

I teched for one. drove the other two.
The first call was a little exciting because the destination was Highland. The most interesting part of that call was Highland. It is the base hospital for Alameda County. The ER waiting room is always pact. I think it is free too. ER waiting rooms are so erie I think because patients are admitted in a triage status. The patient with the most life threatening injury goes first. Duh you might say. But if you have a broken arm and you're breathing. You will probably wait a hella long time. So imagine a whole room full of people with several degrees of problems.

So I had a review session with myself.
Types of Shock.
Anaphylactic
Hypovolemic
Cardiogenic
Obstructive
Septic
Neurogenic/Vasogenic
Compensatory>Decompensated>Irreversible

Then I went to the Gym. I didn't feel l like not working out. I kinda half assed it. did work out for 2 hours though. Working out used to be fun. It's not very fun when its by yourself. I miss grappling. Also grappling has an adrenalin factor. My mind never wandered away from my task. Treadmill running sucks. I'm starting to get the hang of swimming. Swimming has that factor of not letting my mind wander. If my mind wanders in judo I could get thrown or choked out. If my mind wanders while I'm swimming I swallow water and then I freak out and lose my timing/stroke.

Just some thoughts.

Saw Dave Chappelle!! April 22nd. Awesomely funny!!
Mos Def concert on Sunday for 30 bucks. I get off at work when the show starts. I'm still thinking about it.

20090420 2156

2009-04-20T21:56:00.000-07:00

Nothing to special today. 420.
A friend called me today. Amazing how a phone call can cheer you up.
I decided to make a list. I said I was gonna do this a while ago.

1. Hike Mt. Diablo
2. Paint Thomas's Portrait. The missing portrait.
3. Give my Momma flowers (done)
4. Bay to Breakers May 17th
5. Learn to Tread water for 15 minutes.
6. Take a Day and go to Yosemite!
7. Take my Sats (done)
8. Eat Egg Bagel (done)
9. Swim 5 times a week
10. Take one picture a day.

I have to finish my list to 10. finished 20090421 2302

20090419 2257

2009-04-19T22:57:00.000-07:00

So I only had two calls today.
I decided to reject the last call and go home early. Mostly because I was hungry and I didn't like my partner very much. Having another hour with him and being hungry sounded like something I would regret.

My favorite part was driving a 17 month year old female to children's hospital. This baby was so cute. It had a fever up to 109. vitals were within normal limits of a fever. It shocked me actually I never transported a baby before. Pulse 142. BP 180/72 I think? Respirations 27. Then the mom said they promised her a teddy bear and she asked me if I could get ask about it. I asked the nurse and she gave it to me. Then I gave it to the baby. I don't know how to describe the baby's face when I gave her the bear. She was happy and also weary of me as she hugged the bear with her tiny hand.

I teched an 84 y/o female. She was Alert and Oriented. She was admitted for Bradycardia the day before. Which is an abnormally slow heart rhythm. They installed a pace maker and then sent her on way with us. She lived like two blocks away. Shame if she gets billed hundreds of dollars for 0.3 miles in an ambulance. I'm glad I don't know how billing works. She was a sweet old lady from Texas.

The weather was hot. We posted on Bancroft and Telegraph in Berkeley. People watching until we had calls. I have a lot of time to think while on this job. Probably all my thinking is what drove me to the Navy. Also I blogging about my shift I I realized that I saw two sides of the patient spectrum in one day. A toddler and an elderly woman. When I put them together like that its kind of amazing to see it. I would take a pictures of my patients but that violates HIPPA which is an act that protects patients privacy. To most people at this job stuff like that can just be normal business. It is normal business to me but when I actually reflect on it I realize what I actually experience, it can be real life changing. Just the other day I was talking to my recruiter about my work day. I told him about some of the patients make one really appreciate life. I had a patient who had Bilateral below knee amputations on top of all his other medical problems.

While at Smart Alec's I had this Atmosphere lyric in my head " and every woman looks better in a sundress."
It was a good day. It depends on how you look at it.

this song makes me feel good. The picture reminds me of what I saw when I were driving along Alameda's shoreline watching the sunset over San Francisco. Should have gotten a picture.

This weather gives me a nostalgic cedar point feeling.

20090419 0014

2009-04-19T00:14:00.000-07:00

Well I took a nap after work. I like doing that but it also means I can't go to sleep at a reasonable time at night. Arghh! So I woke up at 2000 then I goofed off for a long while. GTA4 online. maybe two hours. My momma made me some food. I love her. I ate it. for another 2 hours I goofed off online. Youtube videos and Return of the Jedi on in the background. I wrote in my journal for a few minutes then I realized I should go to the gym instead of sulking around.
I'm supposed to enjoy my time until I ship off. It seems I'm just anticipating it. A friend of mine said I should make a Bucket List and try to complete it before I ship off. Sounds like a good idea. I just have to do it.
So yeah I'm off to the gym.

Simple stuff.
Cardio for 30 min
+100 Push ups in 2 min
+ 60 Sit Ups in 2 min
+ 15 Pull ups in 2 min

Swim Breast Stroke for 20 laps.
I want my swimming to be good.
I've been looking into SARC (Special Amphibious Reconnaissance Corpsman)
After I can apply for the after FMTB (Field Medical Training Battalion)
I want to do that because mainly 18 Delta Medical training. NREMT Paramedic certified at the end of course.
Being a SARC I can also do jumps and Scuba. Sounds like badass fun.
People pay money to jump out of planes and scuba and the navy will pay people to do it.
Who wouldn't want to do that? Plus medical training.

Off to the Gym

20090413 1246

2009-04-13T12:46:00.000-07:00

So another day of thinking about painting. Argh! So much to do to so little time. Plus the fact I'm lazy or just need to relax. I just woke up from after getting off a graveyard shift at work. It wasn't too bad. I'm used to it from FedEx. I should be prepared for that kind of life in the military too. My partner was a former firefighter/EMT-I for Las Vegas. So he had so much information and experience that talked to him about. It was inspiring. He had street EMT experience more than any partner I had before. It seemed like he enjoyed the simple BLS transport. Besides his stories he told me a few things about what to expect from the military/corpsman life. Awesomeness!!
We had two Pt. 2 5150. non combative. no restraints.

27 yo female. Pt AOx4 hx depression. meds. Zoloft= Antidepressant Risperdal= Anti psychotic,

Very cool, fun to talk to. no problems.

My partner had teched the other one.

My partner had experience with airport security. He hated that job. Going through the motions type job. He said he felt like robot. This reminds me of my experience with FedEx. He missed people contact. I think people contact is necessary of a job charactisic that I need. Not just any people contact. With my current job I deal with Pts who are appreciative to what I do for the most part. Also with my caricature job I did a service that people did appreciate so that was satisfying for the most part.

Making other people happy is a good goal for a job, but I can't make everybody happy. It justs seems like that is a nice perk to this job.

20090405 0202

2009-04-05T01:45:00.000-07:00

So It's Sunday. I finally started Blogging again. I like blogging. I like to read blogs. I like to think about blogging. But I don't think I have anything pertinent to write about.

I see Caro. You blog your work out. I too have been working out. I worked out 5 days in a row this week. At least an hour each.

It's all mixed up I don't have a plan just yet but heres something I've been using the past 3 days.

5 min jump rope.
2 min push ups. 100 push ups
2 min crunches about 100 I don't always beat the 2 min mark

Pyramid Pull ups. 1-2-3-4-5-6-5-4-3-2-1 not all in one go. that would be my goal.

Dips about 30

5 min warm up walk

30 min cardio 5.5 speed on 2.5 incline. I can get 3 miles in 30 min. Slow I know.

Every other day I alternate with Swimming and lifting weights along with the work out above.

I should go back to Jiu Jitsu.
I go to 24 HR Fitness At Bayfair.

I too busy during the day to go the gym. I get off at work 730 to 900pm and when I to the gym during the rush hour times the gyms is just way to crowded for my liking. I've been trying to get my recruiter to set me up to train with the SEAL recruits.

Also I've been thinking about painting. Just thinking about it. Lame I know. Thinking about an activity when I can obviously just do it. Instead of painting when I can't sleep I play GTA4 online. Argh. So unproductive. We will see. I got two months till I ship off. I've also calmed down since last week. I wanted to ship off so bad last week. I think going to gym all this week made me think twice about it. I could get more prepared physically and enjoy life more.

More paintings. I totally dropped the ball all those paintings I'm supposed to do.

Birthday Blog. February 12 2009 2122

2009-02-12T21:21:00.000-08:00

Cleaned my studio.

For some reason the past few days I was getting really depressed. I don't know why. I went to Dave and Busters last night with a few friends of mine. I had so much fun. I'm not depressed anymore. I celebrated my birthday last night because I work early morning hours at fedex and I got the morning of my birthday off. I got 7 hours of undisturbed sleep. I remembered I had to work on birthday in 2007 and I was so mad that I had to work on my birthday that I treated everybody like crap. So I learned to celebrate my Birthday or not work. I woke up today I had a breakfast Burrito, bought an 19 HD tv, moved some of my furniture i.e. drafting table to my studio. crappy table to my room. I hooked my PS3, my best friends got me one for my birthday, played for an hour. took a two hour nap, went to in n out for dinner. I did some work training when I came back home. In the corner of the bottom pic is that Self-portrait I was working on. I'm not gonna paint tonight. I'm gonna just relax right now because I know for the rest of the year I will work my ass off. There's so much space on the wall still. I've got to fill it up. Then take stuff down and fill up again.

February 08 2009 2211

2009-02-08T22:10:00.000-08:00

Bruce 2.8.2009 15x17 Mixed Media On Wood Panel

If you couldn't t tell who it is. Bruce Springsteen. I didn't paint him just because of the Superbowl. It was a coincidence. I got inspired once I heard "Working on a Dream". It is just a good simple song. The song hit me personally. I felt like painting and not stressing over how it looked or what people thought. My thought is that I'm just working. Work and something will come from it. Thinking too much doesn't produce anything. I felt like I was limiting myself by just giving myself assignments. I was just thinking too much. It's a good give and take. I paint for no one but myself. I have to remember that. I post my paintings here but I use blogger more as a documentation of it. Well, If you haven't heard "Working on a Dream" go youtube now. I know it sounds hopeful and naive but that's me.

978 Paintings left.

Only one painting this week. I was working on a self portrait at the same time its not done. I'll finish it by my Birthday.

I want my paintings to be as personal as my journal. Something that I can look back on and see what I felt when I painted it.

I got rejected by Norcal. AMR didn't call me back. I got a job with Protransport on Friday. I put my two weeks notice in at Fedex on Saturday.
My Facebook status "Mark got a new job. it's a good thing too. I was about to join the miltary." I was thinking why pay for medic school. When someone will pay me to go to school. Just a thought. I probably don't meet their standards anyway. I planned on making that decision in 2010.

January 26 2009 1824

2009-01-26T18:22:00.000-08:00

Orchid 1.25.2009 8x10 Acrylic on Canvas Board

I'm kind of getting tired of flowers. There has been less feedback than usual. The comments have been zero rather than one or two. Anyway I sort of crapped this one out.
Orchid 3 1.18.2009 8x10 Acrylic on Canvas Board

I did this one the day after I did the last one. I used Turner's yello and it wasn't as vibrant as the vertical flower.

979 Paintings left

So I got a new computer. A macbook. I'm a sell out for apple. They're just so easy to use. Well for the most part. Carolina would probably say that I can look at porn now. My sister just moved to San Rafael in Marin County. She had the only computer in the house. My laptop and my PS2 got stolen like two months ago. With the departure of the only computer I felt that I needed to finally get a replacement. I need to lojack this thing asap.

I got an AMR interview tomorrow. I started classes at chabot. urgh. Just the daily grind of it reminds me why I dropped out. I don't want to be a working shmoe my whole life. Thats why I'm there. I'm taking a figure drawing class and an english class. I'll try to paint some interesting subjects.

January 18 2009 1850

2009-01-18T18:28:00.000-08:00

2 Orchid 1.18.2009 #19 Acrylic On Board 8x17.5

Look what happened. Something that turned out okay. Or better than the last painting. I'm working with a limited palette. I like the color in this one. Not so much the composition. It was a nice experiment. I just used a board I saved from awhile ago. Actually I have a bunch of boards that I accumulated over the years.

1 Orchid 1.18.2009 #18 Acrylic On Canvas Board 9x12

After I finished this I was like it's not so bad. Then when I compared it to the next one It looks like crap. I struggled with this painting for a little over 3 hours. I like to give myself a three hour time limit. I give myself a time limit because would fiddle with it until it works and that could take forever. Sort of like when you play a video game and the time runs out. That's my rules for painting. This was just an exercise anyway. I tried to get color and composition good. I failed on both parts. I like to post this because it will remind me to keep painting.

So I'm doing a few flower paintings for my mom. I was getting tired of portraits and hands. I wanted to mess around with color too. I also feel if like I need an assignment to keep discplined in painting. Sometimes I feel I don't know why I create these paintings if they don't have a greater purpose.

981 Paintings left.

I have a AMR test this Thursday and an interview with NORCAL next Friday. So my days at Fedex are numbered.

January 11 2009 1380

2009-01-11T18:28:00.000-08:00

Fist 01.11.2009 #17 Mixed Media on Board

Painting skin tones are hard. I need more middle tones.
Hand 01.11.2009 #16 Acrylic on Board

This is the first hand painting of my thousand. It will not be the last. I need to do more though.

I went to a sketchcrawl the other day in SF. It was fun, I met a bunch of artists/strangers. Which was very out of the ordinary for me because I don't talk to anybody at work. It was also very cool to see everybodies different sketchbook. It was a humbling experience.

I started out in Powell street station. Interesting place if you just stand there. There was a group there that gave away prayers for gratis. I talked to the guy at the sign. His name was Dylan from Colorado. He didn't have a paid job he volunteers full time and he has been living in SF for 3 months. "He said God provides me with everything" I said "and you're praying for other people?" I commended him and warned him about me drawing him. I then met Jamal, the map man of Powell and Market. He told me some history of SF mainly about the buildings around Powell. The flood building, and the Bank of Italy before it was Bank of America now its Forever 21. I continued on my journey and met with Fabian and his friend in Union square.

We then proceeded to Yerba Buena Park by the Metreon. We were at the kid's play ground.

983 Paintings left.
Why do I Paint?

I went to see a friend I haven't seen in a long time. My friend has been doing graffiti consistanty for 7 years. I remember when he was on his first year. He has grown up so much. It was inspiring to hear how much he has learned. I left his pad really thinking. Why do we do the things we do? What ever activity we do we do it because it makes us happy. If it didn't make us happy then "whats the point?" If some people like it great, if not no big deal I'm not doing it for them. Thats what my friend taught me. He was a true artist, some one who does art for the love of it, not for money, fame, recognition, but the opportunity to do art everyday. He said sometimes we lose that message. That's what happened to me in art school. All that work in art school and for what? For who? I forgot why I did art in the first place.

January 7 2009 1150

2009-01-07T11:50:00.000-08:00

A quick look back on 2008 and my goals for 2009.

I have been sober for 13 months now. It was easier than most people think, for me anyway. Looking back on my resolutions last year I didn't accomplish any painting. I did get hella good at grappling. I learned to dance. Not really great at it. I'm in better shape. I learned spanish and it's finally sticking. I just have to keep at it and I have to use it even when I know I will sound stupid. Was 2008 a good year? yeah why not? I turned a year older.I learned a little bit. I grew up a little bit.

Goals for 2009

- Pay off debt.
I wasn't focused at all on this last year. It is something that must be addressed this year if not I will be living with my parents until I'm 45.
-Move Out in 2010. That seems realistic. Right? I hope. I can't do this goal until I get my debt reasonable.
-100 Paintings. 2 Paintings a week( minimum) I want to learn how to paint. Eventually I want to get to 1000. By 1000 paintings I should have a good understanding of painting.
-Have adventures. Staying in one place too long gets to me. I need get out. This goal is very general. I should take more risks in life.
-Make a Portfolio/website. I want to make a website. Why? Because I'll the cool people have one. No really I need to show people what I do. I'm an artist I need somewhere to direct people to when they ask about my work.
- Go to ComiCon. Why? I have never been. I would like to say that I went at least once. If I have my portfolio done I can have it critiqued.
- Work for AMR. I applied already. It is January now. Hopefully I could get hired during this part of the year. I really want 911 experience before I get to Paramedic school. Also working for AMR will help me pay for Paramedic school. Oh yeah if I want to be a paramedic. It is the best option for me right now.

That's it for now. I want to complete all of them and if I have to many then I will probably dissapoint myself come next December.

January 2 2009 1644

2009-01-02T16:44:00.000-08:00

Happy New Year!!

Maureen #15 1.2.2009 Acyrlic on Canvas Board 12x16

So I did this with a little more confidence than the previous paintings. I think its because I used the monochromatic (#14) as a good value guide. I'm making little steps in the right direction. Thats all I could ask for. I also lost the some of the middle value of #14. The bridge of the nose and the shape of the forehead are lost in this one. I did this in less than 3 hours and 30 min. I have feel good.
Maureen #14 1.1.2009 Acyrlic on Canvas Board 12x16

I like this one better. Probably because I couldn't have possibly messed up the color. It's only one color. I did figure another step of painting. Which is that I mixed my values before I painted. Which made it so much easier.

985 Paintings left

I have been addicted to blogger lately. I have been so inspired and envious of all the awesome artists I found. Also I looked up a bunch old college classmates websites and it seems no one does artwork beyond their illustration 6 (portfolio) class. Which was kind of depressing. Dugald was right. "Illustration students do their best work in Illustration 6 and thats all they ever do."
Something along those lines.
It's weird to think about this now. It takes so long to get work in illustration. It also takes long to get good not just at illustration but drawing and painting. Every year a couple hundred illustration students graduate and hit the field hoping to make a career of it. During college or after college they lose focus or choose something else. I don't like to say they gave up. I mean who am I to say "those people gave up" I dropped out of art school. Like usual I'm not sure what I'm getting at, but I'm thinking of what Carolina said to me about the how many EMT Students that actually stay in the field? That can be said about most careers.

Will I be an Illustrator? I don't know. I know I wanted to learn to draw and paint, so I went to art school. I dropped out. I learned to draw reasonably well. I'm out of school. I still want to learn how to paint.

ps. I don't mean to offend any CCA Alumni or any Illustration Student with any of the opinions here.

December 30 2008 0819

2008-12-30T08:19:00.001-08:00

Dad 12.30.2008 #13 Acyrlic on Canvas Board 12x16

I started this one first but I finished it last out of the two I did. I think I'm starting to understand what painting is about. "It's like an extension of drawing". I know thats been said before. It's one of the those sayings that you think you understand but don't really until something happens to you. I was also struggling with color. I was listening to a Joe Bluhm podcast and he said to try painting with a monochromatic palette. So I'm gonna try it.

Dad 12.28.2008 #12 Acrylic on Canvas Board 12x16

My mom kept making take several reference photos. She finally liked this one probably because my dad is smiling. Out of the two I like this one. I spent more time caring for the little details. I tried to smooth a few things out. It is not perfect but I like that I tried. I also feel I'm growing more as I complete these paintings. My mom just took it off my wall. She is really making it hard to fill my wall up.

987 Paintings left

I have to stop Jiu Jitsu/Judo indefinitely. Thats a major bummer. I really liked submitting and throwing guys bigger than me. Really though if this season isn't depressing enough.

Have you made your New Year's Resolutions/Goals yet. I did! My next post will be after new year's. Unless I get into a super painting craze which could definitely happen since there is nothing to do in the east bay. Urghh! Winter!! I need watch groundhog day again. That cheers me up.

December 28 2008 0038

2008-12-28T00:37:00.000-08:00

Empire of Light 12.26.2008 #11 Acrylic on Canvas Board 12x16

This is a study of Empire of Light by Rene Magritte. This is my favorite Magritte painting. Magritte's clouds were what really attracted me to his paintings. I'm satisfied with it, not happy. I tried to do this one before. I think when I graduated high school. I didn't finish it. Let's see if I can find it.

I found it. Oil on Canvas Circa 2003

I don't know why I didn't finish. I was trying oil. I was struggling with the medium. It was in my closet with another awful painting from high school. In the end I'm glad I finally came back to it even if it is in acrylic.

989 Paintings left

I'm painting my dad. Kind of a belated Xmas present. Then my sister's portrait. I'm getting kind of tired of painting these portraits. They're are rather boring. I'm thinking of doing some illustration after I do my sister's portrait. I'm not too sure. I'm also trying to do at least two paintings a week.

Norcal Ambulance called me. Hopefully I can get an EMT job by next week.
Have I mentioned How much I hate winter? Well I do. It's my least favorite season.
Happy Holidays.

December 19 2008 1755

2008-12-19T17:54:00.000-08:00

Megan 12.19.2008 #10 Acrylic On Illustration Board 15x20

This is my 2nd attempt. I like it better. Seeing it now I feel the photo reference was bad. I shot it outside in the shadow. I struggled with value on both of them. I shaped the cheeks differently both times. I also gave myself a time limit of 3 hours to complete it. I also struggled with color on both of them.

Megan 12.18.2008 #9 Acrylic and Prismacolor On Illustration Board 15x20

I was trying something that quite work out at all. I was working on it all week. I had a lot to do this week. She looks like she has a 5 oclock shadow. Instead of fixing it I finished it. It stared at me for a good while. I decided to paint it again. I forget the reason. Possibly because this one looks terrible. I couldn't stand looking at it without giving it another go.

I passed my NREMT test and my ambulance test. Yay!! Now all I have to do is a get a job.

990 Paintings left

My dad and my other sister are next. I'm going to try to do a Magritte study too.

December 15 2008 0100

2008-12-15T00:46:00.000-08:00

I apologize for the pictures being yellow. I'll replace as soon as I can. No one looks at this blog anyway.
I made some steps in my painting knowledge. I tried a glazing with the portrait of my mom. I like the way it turned out not so much the color but the modeling of it didn't turn out so bad. My self portrait got more than frustrating. I tried an immediate wet on wet approach (or wet on dry acrylic approach) it didn't turn out like how I wanted at all. I just wanted to be done with it.
Anyway I truly believe winter is not the season for me.

992 paintings left.

I'll paint the rest of my family and friends as the weeks go on.

Mom 12.13.2008 #8 Acrylic on Canvas Board 12x16

Self Portrait 12.13.2008 #7 Acrylic on Illustration Board 15x20

Carictures gig

2008-12-13T23:04:00.000-08:00

So I just did this caricature gig tonight. I haven't drawn theme park caricatures for over a year. I forgot how unforgiving that marker is. The weirdest part is having the same feelings I did when I used to do caricatures. I know what I want to draw but I don't want to hurt my subjects feelings. Also I feel like I was stampy. I didn't know how to draw a mouth another way or a nose. Its the markette that throws me off. Its still magic to see great caricaturists use the markette like a pencil.
One the biggest things about drawing caricatures to a point of fine art is that one needs the courage to fail. The courage to have people tell you that you failed and the courage to do it next day and the day after that until you feel you had enough of it.
As I ponder going back to Kaman's I worry that I will not be able to take the day to day toll of being a theme park caricaturist.

It's Been a Long Time

2008-12-09T15:12:00.001-08:00

I took a long break from drawing and painting. I had a lot of time to think about life and what I want out of it. I was a dish washer and I currently work at Fedex as a handler.
I had time to take a long look at my life as well as the life around me. I can't really describe to you what I have found in this blog. I know I have a good idea of what I've found though.
Anyway. I started painting and drawing again. I have this idea of painting 1000 paintings. I don't have many guidelines to this goal of mine. It's just a way to teach myself how to paint since I didn't learn in art school. I don't expect to complete this goal in a year or two. It will take as long as possible. In the end I want to see what the first hundred paintings look like compared to the last nine hundred. Also seeing how the internet isn't going away anytime soon this place would be a perfect to document my progress.

#2 Eduardo

#3 Fernado

#6 Eduardo Again

Also I've been thinking about going back to Kaman's next summer. As a side job, of course. After having a bunch of other non art jobs one might appreciate what art jobs there are. I'm probably gonna do airbrush. Caricature customers can drive anyone crazy.

(insert clever title here)

2008-04-23T01:09:00.000-07:00

Wow this blog turned into a life blog. Sucks if you don't like it.
Seriously if I did Art I would put it up. But I don't.

Well to anyone who doesn't know yet. I dropped out of CCA. Well I took an indefinite leave of absence. Meaning I could go back whenever I feel like but I it's up in the air. Will I go back? no sé. I decided to leave for reasons I'd rather not go to in depth here. The bottom line was that I was UNHAPPY. Maybe for the entire time I was there. I just got sick of it. I hit an emotional bottom and I needed to put my happiness first.
So here I am putting my happiness first. Taking an indefinite break from art. I haven't drawn or painted in awhile. I've taking classes at the local CC. Just wrestling, judo, and a beginning spanish class. I don't draw caricatures at Great America this summer. That's good because the customers started getting nerves. I'm just trying to have fun now.

I've actually looked into transfering into another school. I have to get through some GE Prereqs first. It's actually of a longer process to get my Bachelors than just going back to CCA. Or maybe I'm just not cut out for college?
Right now I guess I'm in Limbo. I just waiting it out. Saving enough money to travel, move away, go back to school, and get out of the debt I collected from last years travels.

Thats it for now

Its easy not to do art.

2008-03-03T22:17:00.000-08:00

So another week without drawing. I don't feel bad about it. I don't go to art school anymore so I'm not stressed out anymore. For that I'm happy. But maybe I should get back in to photography.
I was recently thinking about adventures and what makes an adventure. When I was younger it was adrenaline. Maybe the most addicting drug there is. To me the sense of urgency is important to me. I think thats what makes the adrenaline, the urgency to act. Another adventure going could be going some place new and unexplored to you or anyone. I think you need to be scared and a little unsure for it to be an adventure. If you weren't scared then what's the point? Well some good adventures should be in order.
Well as you can see one of my resolutions is being unfulfilled. The painting and drawing one. Its so easy to not do shit. Especially if I have no money for art supplies. but thats just an excuse I have hella art supplies that I've acquired over the years. I could come up with something. I wish I had a good painting easel though.
but I'm on top of my grappling game. I'm only getting better. A Judo Tournament in Cupertino on Sunday. I have some friends and family coming to watch me compete.
I have been sober for almost 3 months. Every so often I see beer and I get the urge but other than for being around it I'm fine with not drinking.

No Puedo Dormir

2008-02-23T00:21:00.000-08:00

So it's been a week. I've been drawing more. I've been drawing portraits of my little sister,Megan , in my sketchbook. Maybe I'll but them up. I draw her because she is one the only people in my family who doesn't care if I draw her and what she looks like when I'm finished. Everyone else wants to see right after I'm finished. My older sister, Maureen, gets mad at drawings I do of her so stop drawing her altogether same story with my mom.
Umm I went to BJJ today. I took my friends, Ryan and Alfredo, to come check out the place. It put a little pressure on me to kick ass in class. It was a Friday though and not many people show up. 6 People to be exact. The workout was bearable this time. Maybe my wrestling class improved my cardio. It definitely helped my grappling. I held my own when I went LIVE sparring. I impressed Ryan and Alfredo. I still have a lot to learn.
What else is new? I went to ballroom this week. It was a good stress reliever. There is a group outing next friday and most of my classmates are going so thats gonna be fun.
I turned my an application to volunteer at the Canton Museum at Stanford. So my hope is to volunteer at that museum so I don't lose my interest in art. I hope it will make my knowledge grow. Hopefully I could be a docent. All the trendy art school kids work at SFMOMA. Thats too far for me. Plus I hate running into my old CCA classmates. Urghh. I never see anyone I know at Stanford and thats the best part. I said this before but the Canton Museum is awesome! Last time I went I was staring at a John Singer Sargent portrait. The amount of detail in his paintings are amazing because when you look closer Sargent doesn't model the face at all but when one steps back there's almost a photorealistic quality to them. Crazy Good!!
As far as work goes. There's no secret to dishwashing. I learned it once. I got sick of it the second time I did it. Thats okay though. I can deal with it. A job is a job.
I've been watching a lot of Freaks and Geeks. I got the complete series for my birthday. It is awesome. Its about high school in the 80's in Michigan with the types of characters not seen in typical high school TV shows. Hence the name Freaks and Geeks.
So that's it. I'll try to try putting art up

No Artwork again!!?? Awww

2008-02-16T02:00:00.000-08:00

yup no artwork again.
You'll be surprised how not going to art school anymore makes artist stop making art. It was different back in high school. Graffiti was fun and I did it because I loved it. There were underlying motives to my graffiti behavior but I won't get into that. What I will explain is how I loved how fun it was to hang out with my friends and make art. Getting into trouble and having adventures nothing will ever compare to that life. It was all self motivated. Collaborating, hanging out. getting drunk, skipping class. I couldn't do that forever no matter how fun it was. I didn't like getting arrested for painting on walls or for racking cans or alcohol. So I grew up and went to art school.
Turns out art school isn't graffiti. some people try to make it like graffiti but it isn't. I always see every a new group of hip hop posers trying say they "write" when they started a month ago. graffiti to me is almost like art anarchy. It just makes me mad how an art form that used to be so anti-media, anti-government turned into a commodity for the masses. It used to be a nice counter culture but now everybody and there mom used to write graf.
What my problem is I think? Is I can't do my own art any more. I would like to paint on walls again. Only problem it is illegal. Being arrested is the worst situation I have ever been in. So the consequences outweigh my desire.
So now what do I do?
I doing good in spanish, I think? I had a test on Miércoles. I think I did good.
I took 2nd place in my Judo tournament. No bad for taking a year off. Training hard for my next tournament.
Learning a lot in wrestling class. It's good conditioning for judo.
I haven't been going to BJJ much for two weeks. I'll go on monday though.
I didn't go to ballroom either. for a week and half.
Going to the gym when I don't have class.
I'm going to be a dish washer at some place in Fremont.
I'm starting to reread Fahrenheit 451.

but still no drawing or painting. No drive.
I wonder if its because I don't have any friends to draw with. Like going to the gym there's other people around working. Or in any of my classes there's people doing the same things I'm are doing. So its more of a group effort. Spanish, Wrestling, Judo,Ballroom.
Drawing in a cave sucks ass.

I'm gonna try to post every week. no matter what it is. Just to make it a habit. I'll try to solve my no motivation problem.

BLoG BlOG bLog

2008-01-21T16:28:00.000-08:00

blah blah blah... It's fun to have a blog right? you post stuff up people see it they comment or not. you see what's on their mind and what they are working on. What's on my mind? quite a lot. Do I feel like sharing? I guess so..

Here's what I feel like sharing. I like Caro's blog. It makes me want to create more stuff and post stuff so she could see it. I wish I had more friends that blogged consistently. I did a couple oil paintings last week. don't feel like posting. I got 24 hour fitness gym membership. I got that when I went to work for Disneyland during winter break. Apparently all the initiation fees are waved for being a "Disney Cast Member". I have been using it almost all of last week. I get really tired in the afternoon and I feel like sleeping. But I don't want too cuz then I won't be able to sleep when I want to go to sleep.I joined Open Door Brazilian Jiu Jitsu in Oakland. It's fun to learn new things and roll with different partners. It seems everyone there is heavier than me and/or bigger than me. my guess of the average weight of my classmates would be 215 and I keep getting submitted. I thought BJJ had the ability to defeat the bigger stronger opponents.

I took a leave from my art school again for reasons I will reveal at a later time. So in the mean time I'm taking classes at the local community college.I'm taking a beginning spanish, judo, wrestling basics, and I'm embarrassed to say this but BALLROOM DANCING.

I'm also looking for a part time job.

Well there's my update on my life

Has anyone ever read American Splendor?
I saw the movie when I was in Ohio.
and I have been reading the comic
Ordinary life is pretty complex stuff

New Year"s Resolutions 2008

2008-01-06T13:52:00.000-08:00

_No more drinking
_Concentrate on two main things this year
_Grappling- Health_ BJJ, Judo, Wrestling
_Art- Oil Painting, Drawing

_ Nulla dies sine linea - No day without a line.
A quote in latin. While I was reading Rembrandt's Eyes, a biography on Rembrandt, those words stood out to me. I thought it would be a nice tattoo on my arm. Reminding me to write, draw, and/or paint everyday. But it probably won't become a tat it was a nice thought that I should think about everyday.

-Some minor goals
_ Spanish
_ Art History
_Philosophy
Concentrating on these words
_ Passion
_ Determination
_ Consistency
_ Discipline

I'm Still Alive!!

2007-12-30T16:42:00.000-08:00

So I'm in Southern California working for a little while at the theme parks here in Orange County. Cassie is on her first day at Knott's Berry Farm. She is drawing portraits. I'll probably be working at Disney in another day or two. Something about this trip to made me not want to go. But the thrill of traveling is so powerful in motivation. It is difficult not to compare yourself when one is away from home. I constantly compare what I see in Southern California to the Bay Area. It gives me passion to change the way I live when I get back home.

The trick is when I do get home doing what I said I would do when I was away from home.

I'm definitely reading a lot more and writing a lot more. I'm really anxious for 2008 because I don't know how it will turn out.

I hope everyone has a Happy New Year

A Real Post.

2007-11-14T01:56:00.000-08:00

Dave Choe

I've been really depressed lately if not this whole semester if anybody noticed. I started looking at my art books. I came across one of my favorite artists since I was a freshman. I just flip through it and I realize how much work Choe has made and how many different mediums he works in. It just inspired me. The book is Bruised Fruit. I bought it at SFMOMA.

I drew my sister, Megan, while she was doing her HW.

I have this small canson waterblock. I drew the carriage house on the Oakland Campus of my school. It not postcard stock but I plan to send it to Cassie. I plan to draw a lot more. Maybe these little cards will help me draw more.

I apologize for my faux blog. I didn't think people looked at my blog. I made that post on Friday night and I drew that sketch on Saturday Night. I thought to myself if I made a post I would create art for it. But I just procrastinated on posting art for it. I'm glad my friends put me in check.

Blogging Just to Blog.

2007-11-09T20:43:00.000-08:00

A drawing..

Last Day at Great America.

2007-10-30T03:35:00.000-07:00

I have mixed feelings about work. I'm going to miss my awesome coworkers/friends. I'm not going to miss money hungry coworkers who don't care about art. I'm not going to miss the ignorant, inconsiderate, and awful theme park guests. I was caught being rude to guests a few times by my friend, Joleen. I had about enough of them. On the other hand I easily forget how awesome this job is. I don't get to draw moving babies or weird looking kids everyday. I don't think making fun of the way people look gets old. Trying to sell it to them with a Large Frame does I think. The gratetful, appreciative guests are few and far between. I spent the most of the day alone. I had time to reflect on my summer and this job.

The only sketch I cared to photograph.

SketchCrawl 16 is on November 4th. My 1st!!

untitled

2007-10-24T03:04:00.000-07:00

So it's 3:12 in the morning. I was thinking last night how much I wasted time living at home aka my parents house in Hayward. I spent most of my time dreading going to school. Hayward to SF. SF to Oakland. Oakland to Hayward. So the drive would be hell especially in the morning. I'm tired of driving I just drove across country by myself. I'm tired of my car but I'm also a little used to living out of it.
So I made a point to spend most of my free time in my studio doing work or play as Cassie likes to call it. My theory is that being in my studio is real work. Instead of being at home where my nice warm bed is there to temp me to go to sleep. So instead of trying to battle it I'm going to spend almost every night in my studio until I get my Thesis finished. We will see how long I could keep this up. I'm not doing Judo this semester because I should spend my time in school trying to pass this semester. I am excited for next semester because my cool classes and I worked my schedule so I can train when I'm not in class. Right now I thinking of how much I want to train. I'm gonna put it in the back of my head because I have to concentrate on school.

So here's my first piece. I plan I scaning it. more to come. Also pictured is shown without cropping. So my original composition is not shown.

So I should go to sleep or work on my overdue midterm for my just and unjust wars class.

till next time.

NCN Con 2007 and other news

2007-10-12T21:31:00.000-07:00

So heres my wall.
Things got cut out because I didn't really like the wall.
I like the Mez and that japanese dude whose name eludes me.

Back in school.

Trying to get back on track. I'll try to post more. I used post more during the summer. Now I feel that I'm just lazy. School tends to do that.

Work.

I felt so inspired at work last weekend. It was awesome. I'll bring camera tomorrow. Ramon and I drove from Reno to the Bay Area the day after the convention. So we got a chance to draw right after the convention. I felt that my eye got better at seeing. That doesn't make sense, but let me explain.... I got more critical of how I drew and how the end product looked. Also I was writing in my journal and I realized that I don't write enough about art. If I did that I bet I would be more inspired to create.

Here is a thought. My process is more diagramatic. I see the subject face and I see what I can exaggerate. I try to maintain likeness as much as possible. I exaggerate but I feel I hold likess very high. I feel likeness is priority. but what if I pushed humor? Because I don't think I think about that. I mean I guess I used to think that drawing what you see and exaggerating it is enough. but is it? My question is what if I pushed humor in exaggeration more than likeness? If likeness is lost it isn't a failure I don't think. I'll learn more by trying something different.

I'll put some school stuff up.

Do you ever get uninspired? Then get inspired? Sketch Book Dump.

2007-09-25T14:32:00.000-07:00

I was goofing off from school,surfing the web . I was looking at artwork on a particular website.The website shall remain nameless. The art was bad. It made me want to post some stuff.

7x7 prisma, gouache, and ink
My lil sister. Megan. not caricatured but stylized.
More shading underneath the chin to show more shape of the neck

7x7 prisma, watercolor, and ink
Roosevelt. I Give it a C-

7x7 prisma, ink
His cheeks seem flat. I don't think I took into account the shape of his cheeks.
Thats a problem with doing frontal caricatures. One sees more shape in 3/4

14x7 prisma, ink
I like this page.

Drawing caricatures of classmates is a good way to pass time in my Just and Unjust Wars Class.

Some Illustration Board Exercises

2007-09-14T20:08:00.000-07:00

Some reference from Cedar Point.

15x20 gouache and Prisma 20.3 Hot Press Crescent

15x20 gouache and Prisma 100 Cold Press Crescent

I like heavy the 100 cold press. I'll take that to the NCN Con.

Back Home In the Bay Area.

2007-09-10T17:52:00.001-07:00

Well I'm back in the bay to get into the swing of things. I'm gonna try to post as much as I can about every week. I got 32 posts so far. I was looking at Jerts blog and he just broke 100. He also says some things about New Orleans and Katrina that everyone should read being a katrina evacuee and all.

Back for school and shit.

Also the Aaron Philby has some funny cartoons. you should check out his website.

Last Day at Cedar Point.

2007-08-20T16:57:00.000-07:00

So my last day at Cedar Point consisted of coming in at 2 and leaving at 430 because of the immense rain. 0 dollars but its okay because its over.

My supervisor, Emily, is sad I'm leaving. She said I'm her best Caifornian employee.

Drew Molly. I could have done better.

I asked a guest to take this picture. Her reaction was priceless.

Drew a Self Caricature. Picked out of a Bunch of little sketches I did of myself

Joey and Sarah ended up closing Dodgem. I'll see them in Reno.

Joey and I..

To sum up my time here. It was worth coming for the experience. I drew a hell of lot more than I did last summer because theres not much else to do here except draw each other. I'll miss this place and all the friends I made.

On the road again..

My last days at Cedar Point.

2007-08-19T21:35:00.000-07:00

My last days at Cedar Point. I'm gonna live on the road starting the 21st. Thats gonna be fun. My friend Lucky told me I could work with him in his Park for a day or two when I visit him. How sad that I'm Burnt out, but still it would be fun to work in a different park. I'll try to Blog on the road.

Edem

Steve.

Jillian.
I'm still working big on this Bristol. I'm getting crazier with color.

Still Alive..
California Soul!!!

2007-08-17T20:37:00.000-07:00

Sold Demo: Experimented with color in this one. Around 7 to 830 there is lighting that I love drawing with. I love the challenge of trying something new. I give it a B+.

Demo. I give it a C+.

Profile Demo. I give it a B. I like how I rendered him.

Chris. C

Working Bigger... Rain Rain Go Away

2007-08-10T05:58:00.000-07:00

So it's been raining the whole week. I"ve caught a cold. but i'm drawing. I've been drawing bigger on a 19 x 24 vellum pad. I'm doing it just to experiement. The whole art school mentality of using good paper means you will likely do a good drawing because one knows paper is expensive. I got this idea from Dave Smith at the Orlando Con. He drew me on a big sheet of Bristol. So I'm drawing most of my Co Workers that live in the Maryland Apartments. It feels good to work on a surface tougher than park paper.

Cassie I give it a B

Shannon I give it a B.

Dan gets a B.

Mary. She put her hair up during the drawing. I give it a C -

My first self caricature. It has a strong resemblence to Joe's sketch of me. but next time I draw myself I have a lot more ideas.

Very Polite little kid Demo. I was trying to emulate Oakes style a coloring lips.

The every year father daughter sketch. Very good customers. They were very happy with it. It gets a C

Ryan's Last day..

2007-08-05T17:26:00.000-07:00

Ryan is this cool kid from Detriot. I'm gonna hang out in Detriot after work with Jillan, Dan and Ryan. We have games at our park called Demo Challenges. Its just a way to have fun while still doing our job. I documented a few.

This challenge I made up on the spot. "Memory Sketch" Well the premise is that we grab a demo and we stare at them for a limited time then they get up and walk away then we tell them to come back later to see the results and compare our drawings. Then we start drawing. In this case we got a person with a great face. I liked Ryan's alot better, the guy didn't have a goatee though. Sorry for no refernce photo he came back while Ryan and I were drawing.

This challenge was "Omit a facial Feature". The goal was trying to get a likeness by omiting a facial feature that wasn't needed for likeness. As caricatures I didn't think they were very good, but at the same time it got us to look outside the box.

Our normal demo challenge which is "Most Exaggerated" which is basically us trying push each others exaggeration while maintaining likeness. Ryan said I won. but I didn't take reference so the public will never know.

Tired Almost There!!

2007-08-02T11:32:00.000-07:00

It is August. I'm feeling burned out. Especially right after a 5 day vacation. I'm almost there. About 3 weeks left. Its the home stretch. The only thing thats keeping me somewhat drawing is the NCN convention in October. At the same time I'm thinking of the future.

Dino Casterline came by today. Very Amazing.

Antique photo. My friend Morgan and I. She left last week, her mom was ill. Soon everyone will leave.

Sold Sketch. I like how it came out. Chartpak outside and markette.

Quad that came out good.

Demo: He looked like an old man in the demo.

Wrestling Sketch. These brothers wore wrestling T shirts. They reminded of my friends when I was in middle school.

What will I do next summer? I can do anything I want. I really want to travel again. I just don't know what I will do.

Draw for yourself!!!

2007-07-23T23:23:00.001-07:00

So lately I've been feeling really sell out. A few 700 hundred dollar days, but then what.... I feel empty inside. Why do I do this? I ask myself. Why did I come here? I'm glad I got to travel to Ohio but whats the point if I'm just doing this for money!?! I didn't become an artist for money. I told myself when I was younger that I wouldn't let money rule my life. So the few pictures here are me drawing for myself and I loved every minute of it. I felt great at the end the day too. This job is hard.

Random pic of Jillian

Sold Demo Brian Oakes coloring inspired

So I need a vacation from this place. How Ironic a vacation for a vacation. I need to get away from theme parks and living with in these situations here at the maryland apartments. So I'm going to Athens, Ohio. Why Athens you think? Why Not? Well aside from me being weird. Theres a Crimethinc Convergence there. That may not mean anything to anybody. Let's just say it's an adventure and a vacation.

I'll Blog when I can..
Best from Ohio.
California Love

This One's for Edgar

2007-07-19T21:40:00.000-07:00

More Sketches. I think I'm getting better.

2007-07-10T18:20:00.000-07:00

These two guys are too similar in face shape and features.

Demo

Sold Demo with frame

No photo reference sorry. I like the shine on the hair.

Fillipino baby

A proud 3 color face!

Some news.

Joe Bluhm's book REJECTS came out. I bought it and I had it shipped to my home in California.
NCN Convention is coming in October. I just bought my Con tickert. Reno!!!!!! I'm ready to go.
Buy it early guys.
I miss California. See you guys when I get back.
Transformers was awesome!

Park Sketches

2007-07-01T20:17:00.001-07:00

I looked at the demo bag the other day. I felt that I didn't have anything good in there. So It was a good motivation to start drawing. I want my sketches to stand out of a group of other caricatures. Not to just fly by them like just another piece of paper.

Colored after the guest left. Experiemented with tuscan red and indigo blue.

Some kid whose family came back when I was on break and got a quad color face that Sarah drew. She did a good job though.

some little girl. very polite.

Some basketball players. done with Copic.

I like the color in this one.

Copic Demo

I saw this girl and I wanted to draw her 3/4 but I was afraid that it wouldn't turn out the way I want it to come out. I was wrong to not try it.

I came to a discovery in color for red lips. I like how they pop out. Scarlet Red and Hot pink.

Copic Demo

I like the body on the dad. Father and daughter 8th year in a row getting caricatures at Cedar Point.

I like how these last two turned out as for likeness.

Joe Bluhm's Book is almost here.

Its good that I'm out of KGA for awhile I'm feel that if I stayed I wouldn't have pushed myself as much as I did so far. Reno is almost here guys. Next check I'm buying my convention ticket.

More ADD Marker demos

2007-06-23T06:50:00.000-07:00

Demo: Add Marker. Figure eight head shapes from Silver.

Baby Demo. They later bought it with a matte when I left. I felt it was what I was going for, but it was too Blumish. I need to find my style.

ADD Marker Demo. They're so fun to use.

REJECT!!! The mom thought it was too caricatured. The kid liked it. Moments like this make me wonder why I do this job. Joey let me borrow the Adam English CD: Sketched out: 6 Songs For Retail Caricaturists which makes me feel better. "Ocean of Idiots" can sum up a day at Cedar Point if not every theme park in the country.

ADD Marker. I like how colored this one.

Chartpack Demo Friday

2007-06-17T05:30:00.000-07:00

It was a slow day at the Gristmill stand that day. well for me anyway. I did Demos with this Black ADD Marker. I have my own review on it.
Cons:
When experimenting in park one can lose sales because how bad your drawing looks.
The tip rotates when too much pressure is applied.
It gets you high. Must use in well venteliated area.
Detail is sacrificed
Pros:
Speed! Chris Daily won 3rd place in fastest caricature with this marker. His stuff was good too.
Mad Thick Lines. I love thick lines.
It makes me happy to experiment with something.
Trying something new and failing.

Well here are some of the successful ones out of the ones I did.

Living next to a lake.

2007-06-06T15:16:00.000-07:00

Cedar Point gets hit with rain at a random rate. within an hour it can be sunny to pouring rain and thunderstorms. During those moments I really miss California. Working in the rain is one of the most depressing parts of Cedar Point. 5 people working a stand on mostly rainy day. Oi! I keep hoping for a good day to make money.
Where's my friends at? Edgar where's your blog. Ramon, Where's your Exaggerated Park sketches? Fabian update your Blog! 10 points for Kim for giving an update. I guess you guys have better things to do with your free time. Theres not much to do here. I have a lot of time to think and read and draw.

More CP sketches.

2007-06-02T06:35:00.001-07:00

Whats up with my PGA friends? No ones updating their blogs. Theres not much do to here so thats why I update my blog so much. I expected to be massively inspired here with hella veterans. It seems more like I'll have to take what I learned over the years from my friends and mentors and hone my skills here. There's a Chris Daily Demo hanging up at one our stands so I look at that to remember where I came from and who trained me.

Apparently they don't let the 1st years use foamies. They call 1st years artists "Rookies". I'd hate to be called a rookie my 1st year. I didn't use a foamie on this one.

Brian Oakes Inspired

I tried. i wish i got a picture of her.

Some Canadian kid

I think I got the likeness.

Joey Judkins Drawing. He is a 6th year.I dig his stuff. He was at the Orlando Con and I never remembered seeing him.

CP Weekend

2007-05-28T06:56:00.000-07:00

Just a few demos I did on Saturday and Sunday. I need to get better so any comments would do me some good. constructive ones. I just looked at Brian Oakes Blog. His stuff rocks.

Rain on a Saturday. not the best saturday I had. I expected better. Joey in the rain.

CP Park Sketches

2007-05-24T20:46:00.001-07:00

1st sketch Reject. It was one of those couples that couldn't decide on anything together. They won't last long together.They said they would think about it. Next time that happens I'll tell them to go to hell or go to portraits.

Demo the kid after the reject. I usually take out my anger out on the next person I draw,

Joe Bluhm inspired.

Last Demo of the day. Sold. no matte

I would like to work on my exaggeration. Taking pictures of my work is making me see differently about it. I'll put more up soon. My apartment now has wireless. So expect me updating frequently.

Cedar Point Sketch Party

2007-05-23T16:54:00.001-07:00

well its my 3rd week in cedar point. We had a sketch party at midway portraits after the park closed. We had some guest artists. One of them being Matt Zitman! It was the best sketch party I have ever been to. It was like a little tiny convention. I hope we get more guest artists. It was amazing to see Loy Bouttamy draw. I'll try to update more. Sorry for my pictures being too big.

Sketch Book Dump

2007-05-23T12:34:00.000-07:00

2007 April PGA Caricatures

2007-04-15T23:30:00.000-07:00

I don't update me blog much but I will start to more. If I make it more routine it will be less like a chore. Posting more updates will make more confident in showing my work to strangers. I'm posting just to get better.

Sold Demo> Messing around with the Black ADD Marker instead of the markette

Demo> sister of the first demo....black outline ADD Marker
Demo

Sold> I like how the hat fits on the head, I've always had trouble doing that.

Demo

More to come. Apologies on the blown out flicks. I have to get ready for Ohio. I need push it further but yet I need money.

Back For A Quick Minute..

2007-03-05T00:14:00.000-08:00

Well I'm back to the bay. Big ups to Ramon for pushing me to post art. Which means I should make new art to post. I'll try to get an update with art, but I love traveling. Its hard to keep up with this while I travel so much, plus I'm computer illiterate. So I either got to got post faster at this posting so i'll have more time to make art or stop posting. I got two weeks before I go to Louisiana and Volunteer to EC. I can't promise I'll try but I'll try to try.

update??

2007-02-09T22:24:00.000-08:00

not much to post. not like anyone reads this besides edgar.well i'm drawing everyday just not puting into the computer to post plus access to the internet is not easy.

later

Leave Of Absence

2006-12-01T22:42:00.000-08:00

I haven't posted much on this blog. But that will soon change. I have made a decision to take a semester off from school. Nothing is set in stone right now. So far I've told my parents, gotten advice from classmates, former teachers. Right now it is like a weight has been lifted off my shoulders. I feel good. Reasons I want to take a break:

I'm tired of it. I've grown very bitter that last three semesters.
I get depressed when I drive to school.
I get depressed when I think about school.
I find my academic classes a prison. The small classroom setting annoys me.
Just say it! Just everybody that isn't an illustrator annoys me. That's in general.

What will I do?
1.Overall Experiment and not worry about the outcome.
Learn to paint ( oils, acrylic, watercolors,mixed media.)
draw Draw. Use what McClary and Mendenhall tried to teach me this semester
2. Relax
Read for Leisure
Write for leisure
Practice Judo & BJJ
Travel. (Not sure where yet)
Volunteering is an option I am strongly thinking about

Emergency communities

Find my Senior Thesis Topic
3. Save money
Buy essentials.
Good digital SLR.
Tripod
Scanner
Easel

I'll put some more artwork soon

Illustration Assignment

2006-11-28T21:11:00.000-08:00

I got some guff for not putting enough work on the Illustration 5 Blog.

I got a new easel

2006-11-13T20:05:00.001-08:00

You think I would get one earlier. I could practice drawing as if I was in-park. its the winsor n newton bristol sketching easel.

Sick

2006-11-10T00:15:00.000-08:00

Yeah I'm Sick. It sucks. Well at least its almost over.

My two Nights

2006-10-28T01:13:00.000-07:00

There were three fire alarms on Thursday. Two of them were when I was in the middle of painting.AfterI finished that I did this drawing of a some paper.Yes.. Some paper. Some brown paper. It's a popular assignment in Mark Eanes's drawing and painting classes. I have yet to take any of his classes. I want to get better so I'll just give myself assignments like self portraits, crinkled paper studies, drapery studies and so on. Also Daniel Adel, Illustrator and caricaturist, has oil paintings of paper. That was my inspiration to doing a paper study.
I just want to get good.
So heres a painting done in class 10.20.2006 I finished up during the fire alarms. I had used photo reference on this one. I think it was a good and bad thing. Well Randy Chavez gave me a crit in-class about this piece and he gave me some tips i'll try to put to use. For example sharp and soft edges, painting reflected light and shadows with transparencies. I had like 2 hours of sleep.

Fast forward to Friday after painting class. Dan owed me a glass of guinness. We drank two glasses each at McNallys on College ave. by school. We talked about how our program is on the scale of skill and concept. CCA Illustration lies in the middle. Among other things we talked about work ethic. To be great you have to work hard at it even it means sacrificing other things that are less important than work i.e. other classes, relationships, family,friends maybe even marriages. Right now I find myself really dedicated to working to get better at illustration. I'm worried if it wil consume me, but I want it too.